Learn How To Have A Successful Marriage Before You Say I Do

Congratulations – you’re engaged! I’m sure there are so many things going through your mind right now – excitement, planning, how to announce to family and friends, and spending time with your new fiancé! You may or may not have considered premarital counseling and education, but I’m sure even if you have, it’s not at the top of your to-do list. Many people don’t think of premarital counseling or education because they are in the peak of their relationship – things are perfect right now before the marriage.

When I was newly engaged, I didn’t consider premarital education – I didn’t even know much about it. My husband and I were in such a great place during our engagement that I wasn’t sure we would benefit much from a premarital course, but the church in which we got married required it, so we obliged. My mind was blown. Not only did both my husband and I have fun, but we learned a lot more about each other and how to make our relationship even stronger. I’m now an advocate for premarital education and encourage others to pursue it. Recently challenged by a friend on why and how it works, I decided to do some research and am more convinced than ever that it matters. Here’s why:

Starting a Marriage with premarital education starts a marriage with intention.

Although getting married is an intentional act, it’s normal to get distracted by wedding planning, moving, careers, family, and life. Premarital education will give you and your future spouse the space and structure to slow down and think about the marriage you want to have. Premarital courses and workshops can also teach you and your partner about tools and techniques to use to help with communication, staying connected, and having healthier conflicts. Even if you and your partner don’t struggle with these things now, learning these techniques when you are in a good place will help you be more prepared during difficult times.

Premarital education will allow you and your future spouse to explore your expectations of one another.

Having different expectations can be one of the biggest problems in a marriage, especially at the beginning of a marriage. Expectations can range from who will do the dishes after dinner, how often you want to have sex, when and if you want to start a family. Knowing your partner’s values, thoughts, and desires on these topics is important.

You may have had similar conversations in the past, but once engaged, these possibilities become a reality and affect both of your futures.  Having these discussions before you are married greatly lowers the chance that one of you ends up being surprised or unhappy a few years down the road. Sit down with your partner and take some time to talk about what you want your relationship to look like in 2 years, 5 years, 20 years, even 50 years. Are you both on the same page? If not, where do your expectations differ?

Going through the process of premarital education shows a level of commitment to the relationship and the success of the relationship.

That is one of the reasons that some states offer incentives to couples who complete a designated number of hours of premarital education, and why certain faiths and churches require it. One study found that premarital education can lower an individual’s chance of getting divorced by 31%. Part of that is that it takes some level of effort and commitment to go through a premarital education course or workshop, and those couples were also found to be more willing to put more energy into their marriage later on. Another part is that completing premarital education has shown that couples have a deeper respect for their marriage, which can greatly impact how individuals interact with their spouse.

During the period of engagement, most couples are in a state of blissful happiness and aren’t worried they might be part of 40% of all first time marriages that end in divorce. Sadly that is the current statistic in America, with divorce rates only going higher if this is a second or third marriage. If you are interested in learning more about our premarital course and creating a happier, more successful marriage, check out our premarital website or call today and we will be happy to help you and your future spouse start your marriage off with your best foot forward.