The New Year can bring about a sense of excitement about what’s to come, hope, and the possibility of change. For some, it can also come with a sense of loss at the passing of another year or anxiety about changes ahead – relationally, financially, or physically. Most of us have goals or changes we want to make in our...
Have you ever found yourself thinking any of these thoughts or maybe you’ve even said them to your partner in frustration? “I shouldn’t have to ask…” “It doesn’t mean as much if I have to say something…” “It was obvious I wanted/needed that…” We all want our partners to show they care about us. We want to know that we’re...
Have you ever gotten into an argument with a loved one and gotten so angry you didn’t hear a word they said? I think we have all been there and it never feels good. While it’s impossible to avoid all conflict, we can actively take steps to repair and learn how to process our feelings in a way that helps...
We’ve all been there – angry, frustrated, hurt or misunderstood – trying to communicate a concern or issue to our partners only to find the discussion gets so far off track and escalates to a point that we aren’t even sure we know how we got there. It’s crazy, right? John Gottman, a leading researcher in the field of marriage...
We’ve all been there – wounded and reeling after being mistreated by someone in our lives. No one is immune to being wrong; it happens in every relationship, sometimes intentionally, often not. When people walk into my office, they often bring up painful memories of injustices and times when they’ve felt wronged by the people they love the most. Inevitably,...
Apologizing: I think it’s safe to say that we all agree apologizing is a good thing. We know we need to do it when we are wrong – we value “saying sorry” as the “right” thing to do. Putting it into practice and making that apology an effective one… is a whole other story. Why are sincere apologies so hard?...
This moment is the worst moment of your life. You have just discovered that your partner, who you love and are devoted to has betrayed you. Your life is immediately turned upside down and you are unsure of what to do, or how you are going to get through the next five minutes much fewer days, weeks and months to...
Valentine’s Day is long over. While it’s nice to have a day set aside to celebrate your love for your partner (hey, who doesn’t love a good celebration?), why not celebrate your love every day? There are plenty of ways to honor and celebrate your love daily that doesn’t involve fancy dinners or eating heart-shaped chocolates. Most people make a...
It’s easy to get into a rut in your relationship. Before you know it, every weekend revolves around your child’s soccer game, a Netflix movie, and Chinese takeout. Think back to a time when you felt close to your spouse. Chances are, your memory involves some vacation or time away. Researchers have found a strong link between romantic getaways and a...
I know a whole lot of people who really can’t stand Valentine’s Day. It often seems like more people dread it than look forward to it. Valentine’s Day gets a bad reputation. People don’t like a lot of things about it. They say it’s cheesy. They say it’s just an attempt by greeting card companies to make more money. They...
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